People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
