sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize