It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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