Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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