eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
