i don't like sucking hair
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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