I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
