I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
