im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
