it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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