I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
