I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize