i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
