Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
