sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
