DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
