You made me cry and you don't even care
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
