You just made me feel so damn special
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is Oprah even human
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize