Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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