yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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