Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
