shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
