i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
