i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
