Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
