Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
