oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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