"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
