i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
