it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
