she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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