Umm I'm too high to move.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
it glows. i had to have it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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