but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
