she woke up with a sticky ear
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
