considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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