Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
