We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
