shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
