Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
