i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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