Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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