while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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