I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
