he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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