You don't have asthma, your pregnant
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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