We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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