**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
