i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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