I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
