Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
