Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
