I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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