from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
