How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
