so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
