its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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