So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
