they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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