ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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