I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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