The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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