last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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